Gay Men and Theater
Thank You Tom
I disclosed to Tom at the end of our interview that I’ve never seen my authentic reality on Broadway. I finally saw myself when I saw The Inheritance. But somehow, I felt like a fraud after. How can a theater kid who toured around the country and focusing his higher degree on entertainment be ok with never seeing himself portrayed in the medium he loves? Why would he put his energy into that industry if people like him aren’t regularly shown in their true light? Do all gay men in theater think this? I think it’s a longer answer*.
Gay men have a difficult time speaking up about their underrepresentation in theater, specifically in musical theater. Funny, because gay men make up most of the industry. There are the iconic plays beautifully portraying the AIDS crisis and the tragedy my community faced. But I’m trying to get at the Gen Z and Millennial gay men like myself. Why do we not question more of our stories be told? Are they written and not published? Are there more important stories to put up in the current climate?
Me and the cohort of gay men I run around with live blissfully unaware of what past generations have endured. My family is comfortable with my sexuality, I take medication to make sure I don’t contract HIV, and I can walk into most business and establishments being my authentic self. But there are dark things my community still faces: addiction, family shunning, body dysmorphia, fat shaming, blatant racism, and so on. Gay life can rarely have happy endings, but most do. I’m contradicting myself. But I think that’s ok. Maybe my questions don’t have to have an answer right now.
I did theater so I could escape. In high school, it was to escape the reality that I was a terrible student, in college it was because I was deeply afraid of not becoming a successful performer, and out in the real world my personal life was in tatters and pretending to be someone else for a few hours a day was the antidote. Maybe it’s cathartic for gay men to see our tragedy on stage; a public grievance can dull the pain. But, am I the only one that wants to escape to a better reality? Or am I just a cockeyed optimist?
I’ve gotten off lucky. My family is supportive (and it helps when your siblings are all gay as well). Growing up, my parents occasionally mentioned homophobic remarks but they came from a place of ignorance and fear. They lived through the 70’s and 80’s and saw men like me die. So, could you blame them? When I came out to my mom, she asked me if I “was sick.” I laughed and implored her I was not. Some gay men aren’t as lucky with the supportive parents I have. I count my blessings.
What can us gay men do for the future of theater? Maybe we can start by having the stories we tell reflect the new normal us gay men encounter. Many of us are getting married more and adjusting to more of a heteronormative lifestyle. Other choose to enjoy bachelorhood or sulk because that’s all they’ve known. Maybe a story that shows those ideals clashing? I want to make sure that any gay kid in the audience knows it’s ok to be the way he is and not put on a costume to hide himself.
Thank you, Tom. Thank you for showing me the modern gay man. His struggles, his triumphs. I hope my cohort and I can add to your legacy.